Module seven part 6 - It's time to change your story
Objectives:
make your new CORNERSTONES into a mantra
tell your new story
Talk to your body
Create a positive feedback loop
change your perspective on your old cornerstones
Create a self worth Mandala to support your transformation
use clearing mandalas as necessary to rid yourself of unwanted feelings
ACKNOWLEDGE any changes in your confidence
speak the words
Use the new words to describe your new way of being as you speak, even looking in a mirror and talking to yourself. Practice makes progress.
These examples from students may inspire you
What I was ——> What am am now
I am shy ——> I am confident
I am informative ——> I am measured
I am over-tolerant -—-> I am able to disagree
I am self-sacrificing —-> I am able to put myself first
I am intolerant ——> I am patient with myself and others
I am over-reactive and angry —-> I create inner peace
I am afraid to fail ——> I trust myself
I self-harm to get attention and love —-> I love myself
tell your new story
Embrace new cornerstones in your life.
It’s helpful to speak them out loud, to yourself, as well as in conversations with others. Prepare a sentence based on your changes, so it’s easier to manage and repeat.
EG. If being ‘shy’ was your way of being the past, the overlay might sound like this.
“ I can easily speak out when I want to. ”
talk to your body
It’s probable that your head won’t believe your new story, that’s okay because if you say it out loud and repeat it often your body will hear you.
We can’t make our head believe something by just saying it, our head is way too smart for that. But, through repetition the energy in your body is influenced by the energy of your words.
When your body starts to respond your head notices; soon enough a positive feedback loop occurs which overlays the old pattern, and the new way of being is accepted. It’s subtle at first, yet discernable and Practice makes progress.
speak to yourself in the mirror
Practice your self-talk in the mirror. When we look at who we are talking to, it has more power. Words are the magic we spell.
Changing perspective is easier when you look through the mirror. The rejection you may have felt from someone you had thought of as a possible relationship or a new job offer can have you feeling low and critical of yourself and the things you did.
Admit that you are disappointed, but also that it’s not personal, especially when it feels personal.
Tell yourself that person or job wasn’t right for you.
Tell yourself that something better is coming to you and you had a lucky escape not wasting any time on that.
Smile! Especially if you don’t feel like smiling, and hug yourself, it changes brain chemicals.
change your perspective
As you change perspective, many things change in both your inner world and outer world. Even the way you see your old habits can change. Looking for a positive spin on a once unhelpful pattern can also make your life better.
What I was —> What am am now —> New perspective on what I was
I am shy —> I am confident —-> I shy away from unhelpful situations
I am informative —> I am measured —-> I am trustworthy
I am over-tolerant —> I am able to disagree —> I have healthy boundaries
I am self-sacrificing —> I am able to put myself first —-> I am kind
I am intolerant —> I am patient with myself and others —-> I am able to say no kindly
I am over-reactive and angry —-> I create inner peace —> I am strong
I am afraid to fail —> I trust myself —-> I am driven to create either success or a learning opportunity
I self-harm to get attention and love —-> I love myself——> I am resilient and feel loved
laugh it off
If you notice the old patterns trying to surface and they will try, firstly relax it’s normal.
Secondly, remember the patterns have been exposed to you now, which means they’ve lost most of their power to control you.
And thirdly intend to be calm even if the old patterns do manage to control what you do before you caught them. Laugh out loud and say ”Hey I will catch you next time buddy” this is an opportunity to be lighthearted and fun, if you can muster this frame of mind, which is easy to say, not so easy to do, you can catch yourself before acting on impulse. The strongest emotion wins!
Make a mandala to support your new story
If you need a little extra help, and we all do at times to break free of old patterns, refer to Module Six to create a Mandala to support your new story.
“It is my intention to make a Mandala that reminds me of who I really am.”
Keep it with you on your phone screen saver and or print it and place it as instructed in Module six.
You can also use the clearing Mandala from that module to help you draw out any upset left over from your childhood that may resurface during this work.
like a boss
Once new patterns are established, your future self who is free of these habitual patterns, thanks to the work we do together now, will help you to solve current issues, thus making you more confident in your life today.